Of FRIENDS and FPSK~

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim..

I AM one easily-distracted girl. Honestly, it’s as if one minute I’m focused and determined, the next thing you know I’m drifting in the air, focus and determination tercampak mne ntah, sigh. And because of this major setback in me, I’m profusely grateful to God, Alhamdulillah for giving me such wonderful and much-beloved friends in my life whom without them, my days would’ve been a lot harder..

The pink one being yours truly f'course=)

A special thanks to ain, for being a dependable roomie (although I have to bear the ‘stories’, haha)..

And to zue, for being my tasmi’ partner..

And to dhiey and zati (or should I call you hananin?), for your never ending reminders to update my blog=)

And to didotte and gugotte, for bringing about my naughty-playful side though I’m no near to you guys nyer standard~

And to each and every one of my classmates, for making medic a hundred times fold more fun and bearable, may Allah guide us in this life-long journey of becoming great Muslim doctors, Amiin..

And last but not least, to all the ‘senpai’ aka seniors for their never-ending help and constant reassurance that failing (yes, C- and below) is a normal scenario in the realm of medicine, God knows we need it~

So I suppose everyone’s wondering (or not?) of the ups and downs of my life since..let’s see, according to zati’s blog, it’s been 2 whole months since the last update! cough 2x, berabuk lgi nampaknye^^ Well, that’s because blablabla.. *unacceptable, lame excuses* typical of me no? sorry*_*

Anyhow, USIM’s FPSK (Fakulti Perubatan & Sains Kesihatan) has been great! I don’t even know where to start, there’s so much to blab about that I won’t be able to stop, really! For one thing, I’m thankful to be granted the opportunity to learn loads of enthralling facts of our very own physique despite still getting distracted (what did I say, sigh) in class, whether too engrossed in scribbling notes or doodling a page full of nonsense, but mostly the latter*argh*. But fear not oh ye, the-easily-distracted ones! Thank God we have Prof Ezz & Prof Hany..

Prof Hany : You! Be with me, be with me!!

Prof Ezz : Think with your brains! Not your SLIPPERS!

Me : *blink, blink* Aahh, hmm 2x..*pretending to be focused*

I remembered one particular lecturer saying this..

“ Nabi S.A.W ada menyebut bahawa ilmu yang paling baik itu adalah ilmu yang mendekatkan kita kepada ALLAH subhanahu wataala..”

And I honestly couldn’t think of a much clearer pathway that could bring us nearer to God than the knowledge of one’s very own existence which is pretty much what medicine’s all about (unless we’re talking about IRK that is). Seriously, how could one not succumb in AWE of how detailed and meticulously-ordered every part of the body is?

Like how our hand is supplied by 20 muscles altogether? Most of them singly supplying our thumb, hence, it holds 60% of the power of your grip (despite the clear-cut stoutness, erm, I mean cuteness)

cute thumb, no?

Masya-Allah, and that’s just the thumb (again, I need to apologise, for this blogger have only just completed the upper limb, ergo, the above example..Insya-Allah, in time, I will cramp in more examples of other regions^^). And oh please don’t get me started on dissecting the cadaver, I could go on pages!

So back to the point, every knowledge is there in the Quran and everything, after much twists and turns, relates back to the Deen and when a knowledge brings you farther away from Allah (like Darwin’s theory of evolution, utter gibberish if you ask me), then you know there’s something wrong with it..

I think I’ll leave you with that to ponder upon and till next time (God knows when will that be, Insya-Allah soon ya), if it’s not too late, Happy Marathon-ing the Last Ten Nites of Ramadhan and EID MUBARAK everyone!!

P/S: Kudos to the 5th batch! The mid-sem results was a job well done (so I’ve heard^^) and to the ‘che’ kak-s’ out there, don’t forget to bring back the kuihraya! O, edible ones please..

Only You Know

Do you know that feeling when you’re suddenly dragged into your own world, pretty much letting go of the chaos of everyday life? (which I’m doing at this particular moment by ignoring the oh-so-annoying whines of my lil brother on who’s turn to sleep at which side of the bed on what day of the week, sigh)

Letting yourself hauled into deep thought of nothingness and by this I mean not narrowing your mind into thinking of a particular something..You know, allowing your thoughts to, hmm, meander?

Every so often when I do this, I’ll start noticing things..Things that I deem not so worthy of my immediate attention, but are important and meaningful to me nonetheless. It’ll always start with petty stuffs like..

Why is there only 1 entry for each month on this blog of mine? (pret-ty slow progress if you ask me)

Why is my toothbrush always changing places from where I last put it? (hmm, I’m thinking this has something to do with my brother)

To bigger, significant ongoings in my life..

Is it one week left until I start med school? (O God, 1 week!)

Why do I still ‘makan jalan’ when I drive? Seriously girl, that, can cause major ‘accidente’=(

To deep and spiritual musings..

How can I be really khusyu’ in solah?

How many minutes of the hour on that day in that week do I spent to read the Quran? For all I know, that might just not be enough.

Come to think of it, how many times have I ever really stop to ponder? Living in today’s fast-paced world where everything pretty much goes with the glimpse of an eye, it’s the simplest I can do to at least slow things up. Take a break once in a while, but instead of having kitkat^^, isn’t it better for us to ‘start noticing things’?

Things that memories are made of..
Things that strengthen the ties and narrows the gap..
Things that help you become a better citizen of the world and a better Muslim of the ummah..

So you see, it’s good to loosen up sometimes and think things through..

It’s a cue for MUHASABAH (self-evaluation) =)

P/S : 1 week of leisure left (yeke leisure?)..aiyya, so much to do in so little time^^ I seriously should’ve done this ‘thinking’ sooner.. Notice the new template?hehe

When you’re in CUTI mode (and other excuses..)

Assalamualaikum..

You know it’s high time to update your blog when friends are beginning to SHOUT that you should in the SHOUTbox. Phew, this blog needs major cleaning i tell ya*manyak cobwebs* (and yes t-rex, i know the grass needs cutting). Does anyone even read this blog anymore?Sorry for the late updates, i know i should’ve write something at least to imply that this blog is still on the go but i was just too immersed in even I don’t know what. Yup, ’cuti’ can sure do that to people eh?

No lah, honestly the first week i was having this really bad cold, all i wanna do was just lie on the bed and SLEEP all day long hoping that it’ll go away just as swift as it came..but no, it lasted for a week and there goes my first week of cuti…on the BED, not really productive kan?hey but no complaints there…Alhamdulillah, at least the cold was kafarah for my sins right?Anyway, the second week, i was all fired up to begin the updating, turned out this brain of mine was exhausted of everything to write. I sat in front of the computer for hours but that was all…blanks were the pages i could see. I assure you, i was bursting at the seams with ideas during the exam weeks but it seemed that they’ve all vanished into thin air with all the theories, facts and whatnots-the ones umm let me see, required to actually answer an EXAM paper?Hopeless, i know..sad, even more true but that’s just how things goes these days(to me at least). To quote what my bio lecturer once said that we, the exam-oriented folks of today~sedey=( , should all bring a MOP so as to mop up all those ‘hafaling’ that’s practically cascading from our ‘leaking’ brains-and that is as soon as we step out of the exam halls.

Reminder to self: Will try, insya-Allah, not to ‘wet’ the exam hallways next time(translation: wake up you!!no last minute studies ever again~easier said than done though, sigh)

At first, i reckoned that all this holiday vibes must’ve got to me, no wonder i was so full of excuses all the time, malas rupenye!ho2…but then i realized that the reason i was so lost at words(and malas as mentioned) was because i haven’t been feeding my soul much lately. Yes, i was all swamped with the joy of cuti~jalan sana, jalan sini, if not pun duduk di rumah doing nothing..not so much of reading and acknowledging the self more on ‘ilmu agama’ going on there. It pisses me off that my attempts to make cuti more worthwhile is going down the drains yet again because i am too WEAK to resist the ‘magnetic’ pull of TV among other things. I am officially addicted!CSI, The Amazing Race, House…you name it, i was qada’-ing all the ones i’ve missed and adding new ones lagi tu…Masya-Allah, shouldn’t have watched too freakin’ much, that explains a great deal on the cobwebs and 3m grass no?

Just goes to show how forgetful we are as mere humans living in this ‘loaned’ world with all the ‘loaned’ nikmahs from Allah. And this proves that we are always in constant need of REMINDERS, to give ourselves a nudge and remind us on the ‘ilm, knowledge of the Deen that our souls are deprived from. Most of the time, we are so occupied with worldly matters that we tend to overlook the hunger of the soul for more ‘ibadahs and knowledge...and that is how people can be at the peak of their carriers but are not happy, how people can be wealthy but often feel insecure, how their lives seems perfect to our eyes but why the frown and the fret?Where’s the smile..the bliss or the content perhaps?

These are the consequences when one does not bother to satisfy his or her spiritual needs. Uh-huh, there are such things as spiritual needs, don’t you realize it already?or have you forgotten all about it?

When you’re suffering from a full blast ‘demam’, who do you turn yourself to?

When you’re smashed yet again by the pressure of exams(i know i’m making this sound exceptionally unbearable^^), who do you plead help from?

When you’re feeling this roller coaster of emotions at one point, who do you cry your heart out to?

We are so DEPENDENT on God, doncha see?But sadly, these needs are only crystal to us when we’re afflicted with all these hardships. When in ease, we rather choose to ignore the calling, betul tak?We’d be distracted and convinced that this is what life’s all about when actually, the inner self is EMPTY. The heart-stabbing truth is that we can be so hypocritical at times…and to God plaktu(kene sebijik to empunya diri). It’s not only in hard times that we’re tested, ’masa senang’ is also, in actual fact, a test for us.

Ease [yusr] and hardship ['usr] are the feathers that give strength to the wings of your faith [iman], so that your heart and your innermost being [sirr] can use them to fly to the door of your Lord (Almighty and Glorious is He).
- Shaykh 'Abd al-Qadir al-Jilani

So there you go, how should we go about our CUTI or rather, ‘masa senang’ then?

Dengan penuh manfaat f’course…If there’s no usrahs to attend, no ceramahs on TV, nothing whatsoever to add a bit to our limited knowledge of the Deen(although that’s hardly believable with internet at the tip of your finger), then clean that dusty rack of yours and grab a book. At least you know that whatever happens today, i’ve saved a portion of my time for the betterment of my grasp on Islam.

“Nourishment of the soul is in concepts and meanings, And not in food and drink”

And believe me, that, friends, will WARM the heart…


FILL the soul…


and make all the DIFFERENCE…

"There is no veil between a slave and Allah except (the curtain of) his own negligence."
- Shah Ismail Shaheed'sTaqwiatulIman


P/S: i'm so thankful for your blogs out there-'pit stops' to remind and enrich my soul yang sering lalai ini=)

My Road Not Taken.

Bismillah..

Blogging has been a bit difficult for me right now, i can’t seem to find my own sweet time to just loosen up and jot my thoughts down through my oh-so-hectic schedule nowadays. Yup, ‘exams’ are back haunting my days with less-sleep nights (i won’t say sleepless) and more recalling of some dusty compartments of my brain. And it’s not just any exam, it’s the ‘FINAL’ exam which hopefully, say i come out of it ‘victoriously’, will pave my way all through med school. Writing it down somehow makes it more significant, no?*goosebumps*

Anyway, enough said..what i intended to write about in the first place was how happy i am that anje called me from Cairo this morning! It’s one thing to spend all that ‘duit’ on the long-distance call, but it’s also touching seeing how she actually make time to catch up with friends (kinda remind me of kamilah^^) despite how hard-pressed she is with all that new medical stuff she’s learning. As always, she were rushing the words out and as i’m lagging in this field, the poor me could only catch a few edible words..cardiovascular, pelvic anatomy and what? Everything after that seems blurrish to me (sorry anje for the ignorance on my part,hee). Don’t get me wrong, you were uber-cool gushing out all that medical terms, almost sounded like a ‘Dr House’ in-the-making over there^-^

And we went on talking about her life there where pharaohs and mummies reign and mine here in the land of ‘nasi lemak’, and I somehow can’t stop myself from envying her. Yeah, especially the part on talaqqi-ing with a sheikh, lucky you! You see, back then after the jim-jams of spm days are over, i was all for studying abroad. I’ve got this ‘even-if-i-get-only-3a’s-still-wanna-study-luar-negara’ kinda attitude which really gets to my parents sometimes.

Mama: nape nak sangat blaja jauh2 nie? nak lari (dri parents) la tu..

Me: mne ade*innocent*..

'Truth is, the idea of studying abroad always fill me with reveries of exploring new cultures, visiting historic sites, learning new languages, conquering a whole new civilization! Ok, that bit was exaggerating and o yeah, studying whatever i’m supposed to be studying there (confusing to me how this part always come last in the list). The point is, if you asked me then where i would see myself in five years, i probably would say this, ‘Anywhere but here!’. But you know this part of the story already, things didn’t turn out as how i would’ve like it to be, and i was of course green, or how i would say it, pink with envy of hearing amigos flying here and there to various parts of the world continuing their pursuits.

It’s not that i didn’t get the chance, it’s more of a case of blowing it off and surprisingly, not regretting the choice i made. Being in Darul Quran at the time, polishing my ‘hafazan’ seemed more of great importance to me and i can confidently confess even now that i have no regrets whatsoever of choosing this path then. I’ve already lost count on just how many had asked me this very same question, ‘kenape tak pergi luar negara?’..well, most of the time i would say ‘parents tak bagi’ and that’s among the other reasons as to why..my nenek is a bit paranoid of me studying ‘jauh-jauh’, bahaye katenye*sigh*

But i think the main reason that actually deviate me from that aim i made long before was the realization of how somewhere along the road, circumstances might just pop in right in front of you, say like a rockslide blocking your way..and albeit the trouble it cost you at first, you might find that after some time, those useless jumble of rocks might prove to be tons of precious gems waiting to be polished.

“and it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allah knows but you do not know” At-Baqarah:216

Yes, it was pretty hard to restrain myself but in the end i discovered that ‘precious gem’ afterall, and It is not something that I would exchange with even for the world..I find that Robert Frost kinda sums it all in this piece (cam pernah tengok je mnde nie^^)..

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

And that’s how it’ll always be for us, forever stumbling upon crossroads-making decisions, scrutinizing over which path shall be the best, and as we go on, pondering upon what will happen if, just IF..we take on that ‘other road’, will life be the same? The same scenario goes to everyone but us Muslims know better than to fret over possible outcomes of that ‘road-not-taken’. It’s true that as one way leads to another and as we travel farther away from that junction, the harder it gets to turn back..But the road that we chose might just offer a whole lot of beautiful possibilities that our thoughts are sometimes wiped off of that other road-the one that looked so alluring to us at first..

“And whosoever puts his trust in Allah, then He will suffice him. Verily, Allah will accomplish his purpose. Indeed Allah has set a measure for all things” At-Talaaq:3

And that’s how i truly feel..praise be to Allah for He knows what’s best for each and everyone of us. The important thing that i learned is when you’re oppressed with making decisions, rely yourself to Allah and you’ll know that He never fails you. O and try listening to the small voice of your heart instead of that other one that practically screams louder.

Yes, everything happens for a reason and yes, choices in life is inevitable..

Yet, you’ll never know what your choice will mean until you have lived it. I’m not saying that i’ve totally 'unleashed' myself from the thought, i still feel a teeny twinge of jealousy whenever i hear of all the great stories you see..

But i, for one, believe that every little bit that has been predestined by Allah has a ‘hikmah’ behind it and that it matters not whether you’re here or at the other end of the world, the main thing is to strive your best in your studies..i’ll do my part here and you’ll do yours over there and hopefully, we can meet in the middle of the road as we go along our paths..

Let’s just hold to that thought, shall we? Ameen..

My beginning..

Salam!

Wow, what a hiatus..
I don't think i'd ever write anything but yeah, i've finally pepped up myself from my 'inert' mode and managed to gush something out of my very dehydrated brain,huh~To begin with, as this is yours truly first ever post (if it’s not that obvious already), i'd like to convey my apologies to my dearest friends (andah, alang, jal and the list goes on) whom i believe can no longer take it in their hearts if i were to yet prolong the making of this blog (sorry guys!). I sincerely hope that this could be a means of catching up with friends; old and new alike and especially those who complained on my lacking in the 'keeping-in-touch' spirit, which i won't ever plead guilty of because you know it's not true and despite what everyone say or believe, I cherish each and every one of you back then from the yesteryears of kindergarten to high school cliques and recently fellow DQiansX).

But what’s more important is i hope that we can exchange and share stories and endeavors of everyday life, little things that inspire us and help us in the path of becoming better Muslims and 'abd to the Almighty.

P/S: Though i might as well warn that my thoughts may range from deep and meaningful to just random and frivolous=)

Even so, do stick with me and lets remind each other because that's what ukhuwah's all about, no? To always be there when one is in need and be a constant reminder of our sole purpose as khalifahs in this momentary world.

So to you guys out there, salam ukhuwah^^